Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Generation Techy: High School of Today
This poor generation is in for one hell of a ride. Technology has left them speechless. Literally. They communicate through social networking, text messages, twitter, etc. And yet, when it comes to confrontation...they shy away from it all, and go verbally abuse their friends/enemies via facebook and text messaging. Luring and bating each other into a quasi-culture of completely uncommitted promises that aren't held accountable. Emotions are held deep, dark, and secret, vs. putting them out on the table. Articulating words and sentences has become a four letter word, and writing an actual hand written letter...well...good luck reading it.
So Teacher's and parents REALLY have their work cut out for them now. This year I have had the absolute pleasure, and I mean that in all sincerity, of becoming a part of the Lincoln Public School system. It has been wonderfully satisfying, and the kids are incredible. I love watching them get excited about being successful, and although there have been significant trials & tribulations thus far, its amazing how much I truly want all of these kids to succeed in their life paths. HOWEVER, it is SO difficult trying to stress day in and day out COMMUNICATE PLEASE. Face your problems, deal with them head on and come to a justifiable conclusion/solution. Don't run from the issues at hand. Which also lends a helping hand into my own life...and facing everything I am thrown with as much diligence as possible.
All the while, I do believe it is completely irresponsible for my generation and generations older to completely throw these kids under the bus, and look at their world of technology as completely asinine. I think its important to understand it, and become a part of it as much as feasibly possible without crossing boundary lines, and help the kids to understand we want to understand them as much as we expect it vice versa.
My unborn children...oh god...I dread the day they understand their mother and father were born in the 1980s. How awkward is that conversation going to be...and where in the world will technology take us at that point????
So Teacher's and parents REALLY have their work cut out for them now. This year I have had the absolute pleasure, and I mean that in all sincerity, of becoming a part of the Lincoln Public School system. It has been wonderfully satisfying, and the kids are incredible. I love watching them get excited about being successful, and although there have been significant trials & tribulations thus far, its amazing how much I truly want all of these kids to succeed in their life paths. HOWEVER, it is SO difficult trying to stress day in and day out COMMUNICATE PLEASE. Face your problems, deal with them head on and come to a justifiable conclusion/solution. Don't run from the issues at hand. Which also lends a helping hand into my own life...and facing everything I am thrown with as much diligence as possible.
All the while, I do believe it is completely irresponsible for my generation and generations older to completely throw these kids under the bus, and look at their world of technology as completely asinine. I think its important to understand it, and become a part of it as much as feasibly possible without crossing boundary lines, and help the kids to understand we want to understand them as much as we expect it vice versa.
My unborn children...oh god...I dread the day they understand their mother and father were born in the 1980s. How awkward is that conversation going to be...and where in the world will technology take us at that point????
Divorce, Marriage & everything in between
Guilt is a difficult hurdle to overcome. After going through a divorce, I have finally started to feel like myself again. The divorce was tough...don't get me wrong...it was excruciating making the choice to leave a man who had been nothing but understanding, loving, and compassionate. But I also knew that i wasn't happy, which in turn made him as miserable as me. Yes, it was selfish to go into the marriage wondering if it was right...but I don't regret it. And if that makes me a selfish woman...so be it. I don't regret my marriage to Brandon. I don't regret any of my life learned lessons with him, or loving him enough to know my family, and my needs would never fit into his life. And as much as it hurt to walk away from him...I can only hope he is happier now because of it.
But that brings me full circle back to the life I'm living today. I have been fortunate enough to have my high school sweetheart come back into my adult life and sweep me off my feet all over again. Last year was a brutally emotional year, and he stood tall beside me through it all. I have my Grandmother's 100 year old engagement ring on my finger, and am going to wed Marshall on July 14th, 2012. Not only that, my best friend and I have a new found respect for our friendship and have been through, yet again, a life altering transition only to come out on top of the pile still holding steadfast to our womanhood we are experiencing together. I have literally turned my career upside down, and am coaching High school sports, subbing full time, and completely immersed into the school system...and I could not be happier. My personal bills are barely paid every month, and I can hardly contribute to Marshall and my house bills, insurance, etc....but the smile is still on my face. I feel satisfied. I feel like I'm moving forward. But I also have this incredible cloud of guilt, clinging to my back....which constantly makes me look behind. How are you supposed to overcome your guilt of hurting a truly great person, all the while being blessed enough to find an old love in a new stage of my life? I know planning this wedding should be exciting, but the guilt of being happy is a heavy burden. Getting past that guilt...well I guess that's just the next obstacle in my life.
But that brings me full circle back to the life I'm living today. I have been fortunate enough to have my high school sweetheart come back into my adult life and sweep me off my feet all over again. Last year was a brutally emotional year, and he stood tall beside me through it all. I have my Grandmother's 100 year old engagement ring on my finger, and am going to wed Marshall on July 14th, 2012. Not only that, my best friend and I have a new found respect for our friendship and have been through, yet again, a life altering transition only to come out on top of the pile still holding steadfast to our womanhood we are experiencing together. I have literally turned my career upside down, and am coaching High school sports, subbing full time, and completely immersed into the school system...and I could not be happier. My personal bills are barely paid every month, and I can hardly contribute to Marshall and my house bills, insurance, etc....but the smile is still on my face. I feel satisfied. I feel like I'm moving forward. But I also have this incredible cloud of guilt, clinging to my back....which constantly makes me look behind. How are you supposed to overcome your guilt of hurting a truly great person, all the while being blessed enough to find an old love in a new stage of my life? I know planning this wedding should be exciting, but the guilt of being happy is a heavy burden. Getting past that guilt...well I guess that's just the next obstacle in my life.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Come Back
What did these women do
Where did your gentle go
How are your feelings true
When you've hit the bottom low
Do you even feel me
Are memories all you've got
Our rooted family tree
Should supply the lesson taught
It's time to heal your clot
Let the pieces fall apart
Come back to our sacred spot
Come back and give your heart.
Where did your gentle go
How are your feelings true
When you've hit the bottom low
Do you even feel me
Are memories all you've got
Our rooted family tree
Should supply the lesson taught
It's time to heal your clot
Let the pieces fall apart
Come back to our sacred spot
Come back and give your heart.
Sandpaper
Roughness consumes you
Darkness that confides
Deeper secrets leave a clue
Share your other side
I know you're still there
But layers of gray hide
Eyes lock longing to bare
The past is mortal to collide
Confessions slowly leak
Futures unfold a windy ride
Hazy glass seemed so bleak
Rip curl waters bring the tide.
Darkness that confides
Deeper secrets leave a clue
Share your other side
I know you're still there
But layers of gray hide
Eyes lock longing to bare
The past is mortal to collide
Confessions slowly leak
Futures unfold a windy ride
Hazy glass seemed so bleak
Rip curl waters bring the tide.
Unsolved
Cast your line
Bring me in
Drink my wine
Eat my sin
Find the bliss
Swim too deep
Simple in kiss
Willows that weep
Unsolved desire
Wrapped in dark
Set me on fire
Body left stark.
Bring me in
Drink my wine
Eat my sin
Find the bliss
Swim too deep
Simple in kiss
Willows that weep
Unsolved desire
Wrapped in dark
Set me on fire
Body left stark.
Practicality
A coffee laden buzz drips slow
Cigarettes take me to a deeper low
Ink runs quick to set the flow
Confusion speaks fluid in tow
Your eyes set my core on fire
Your words bring me to inspire
Are your intentions to simply tire
Thoughtless actions for acquire
Do you want me now that you knew
A heart that falters and often flew
Actions speak not certainly new
Two on your line and you still do
Words spoken can't be taken back
I've said my piece and laid the track
Take them seriously, hold the slack
Find what you need to fill the crack
I'll remain a mystery to you
Tenderize my heart but please don't chew
Steer your boat and man the crew
Decide your fate, intend to be true.
Cigarettes take me to a deeper low
Ink runs quick to set the flow
Confusion speaks fluid in tow
Your eyes set my core on fire
Your words bring me to inspire
Are your intentions to simply tire
Thoughtless actions for acquire
Do you want me now that you knew
A heart that falters and often flew
Actions speak not certainly new
Two on your line and you still do
Words spoken can't be taken back
I've said my piece and laid the track
Take them seriously, hold the slack
Find what you need to fill the crack
I'll remain a mystery to you
Tenderize my heart but please don't chew
Steer your boat and man the crew
Decide your fate, intend to be true.
Magnets
Metal clings to metal
Like flowers to a petal
Unwilling to settle
Sparks light the fire
Of a heart for hire
Beware submissive liar
Eyes lock on glances
Rhythm's forbidden dances
Seeking for the chances
Soothing waves of a womb
Untold secrets swirl and loom
Escaping their darkened tomb
I pray to the skies
My time to arise
And let go of these ties.
Like flowers to a petal
Unwilling to settle
Sparks light the fire
Of a heart for hire
Beware submissive liar
Eyes lock on glances
Rhythm's forbidden dances
Seeking for the chances
Soothing waves of a womb
Untold secrets swirl and loom
Escaping their darkened tomb
I pray to the skies
My time to arise
And let go of these ties.
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