Divorce, Marriage & everything in between

Guilt is a difficult hurdle to overcome.  After going through a divorce, I have finally started to feel like myself again.  The divorce was tough...don't get me wrong...it was excruciating making the choice to leave a man who had been nothing but understanding, loving, and compassionate.  But I also knew that i wasn't happy, which in turn made him as miserable as me.  Yes, it was selfish to go into the marriage wondering if it was right...but I don't regret it.  And if that makes me a selfish woman...so be it.  I don't regret my marriage to Brandon.  I don't regret any of my life learned lessons with him, or loving him enough to know my family, and my needs would never fit into his life.  And as much as it hurt to walk away from him...I can only hope he is happier now because of it. 
But that brings me full circle back to the life I'm living today.  I have been fortunate enough to have my high school sweetheart come back into my adult life and sweep me off my feet all over again.  Last year was a brutally emotional year, and he stood tall beside me through it all.  I have my Grandmother's 100 year old engagement ring on my finger, and am going to wed Marshall on July 14th, 2012.  Not only that, my best friend and I have a new found respect for our friendship and have been through, yet again, a life altering transition only to come out on top of the pile still holding steadfast to our womanhood we are experiencing together.  I have literally turned my career upside down, and am coaching High school sports, subbing full time, and completely immersed into the school system...and I could not be happier. My personal bills are barely paid every month, and I can hardly contribute to Marshall and my house bills, insurance, etc....but the smile is still on my face.  I feel satisfied.  I feel like I'm moving forward.  But I also have this incredible cloud of guilt, clinging to my back....which constantly makes me look behind.  How are you supposed to overcome your guilt of hurting a truly great person, all the while being blessed enough to find an old love in a new stage of my life?  I know planning this wedding should be exciting, but the guilt of being happy is a heavy burden.  Getting past that guilt...well I guess that's just the next obstacle in my life.