The green goblin...and it's evil counterparts

I fucking hate money. If there's one thing in this world that I can say I "HATE", because...yes...I know this is a powerful word...I would say it's money. I'm always contemplating what I could change with more of it, instead of living life the way I want without it. Nothing is ever substantial enough...not a career, successful relationships, owning a home. There's always the gleam of something new just across the way...places to travel to, people to visit, clothes to wear, jewelry to flash, hair to dye, nails to paint, gyms to workout in...everything is so transparent. Pressure is the leading entity pushing money into our veins like a heroine addict with a filthy needle. Pressure to spend the $$$ to dress a certain way, impress a certain way, look, walk & talk the part. It's all about who you know right? It's all about politics. Why is just...being...is never enough? Why is it, "what's good on paper"? Why is it that all we can talk about are our "somedays" ..."somedays"... the bigger and better material bullshit we all believe we need. I miss simplicity. I miss when all I cared about was playing by the Blackfoot river with my brother...and seeing my best friends everyday with no expectations to be anything other than my crazy self. Why is it so easy to get caught up in the pressure race? High School taught me to be the athlete, be the student, be the friend...hell...be the all around, make the grade, be "that" girl...well, high school & the pressure I felt from my family. When I did...there were still the people who hated me, even when anything I was doing wasn't directly affecting their worlds or causing them pain. Maybe it was because I gave into the pressure. Maybe it was because I gave two shits what they thought. So why is it I still give a shit? Why is it I didn't learn my lesson from the first go-around? I know I am my own driving force creating the pressure, which I'm sure so many of us do. I know I am also my own worst judge...so if I know these things, why is it I still feel this pressure creeping through my veins??? I fear we are living in a society addicted to pressure...addicted to the drive of labels, looking the part, & acting the part. Are we all pressure addicted junkies searching for the commercialized, "$omeday$$$"...that many of us...may never find?